It felt so liberating to finally share this exiting news with you! It has been such a big secret but now I can tell the world

If you want to hear all about it I made a Dutch video to reveal my secret:

I was feeling so different for a while but I couldn’t make up why. Then I noticed I was late, no period. It’s not something I can explain very clearly but I knew there was something different with my body. Dennis and I did a pregnancy test in the evening and there it was, a vague little stripe. I read the manual and it clearly said that any type of stripe means it’s positive. Just to be sure we did it again in the morning and there is was. The stripe couldn’t be more clear, we’re expecting!

Dat was even schrikken, zoveel emoties gaan er door je heen op dat moment. Ook weer iets wat ik moeilijk kan omschrijven behalve zo samenvattend: een emotionele rollercoaster. Eigenlijk wist ik totaal niet wat er moet gebeuren wanneer je zwanger blijkt te zijn. Zo verantwoordelijk Miepje als ik ben ging ik direct op zoek naar een verloskundige praktijk om alles in gang te zetten. Dat leek me logisch. We konden snel terecht en ik bleek zes weken in verwachting.

11 weeks sick

What I explained in my vlog is that I’ve been so extremely sick from that moment on. Right after the test the morning sickness started. In stead of passing after a few hours it remained, 24/7 I was feeling sick. And not just the nausea like the stereotype pregnancy stories, but really sick to my stomach. Every day it got worse and worse. I couldn’t eat or drink anything, nothing was tasty or I would throw it up within an hour. My body got so weak, I couldn’t even get up the stairs at one point. It was so frustrating as you want to keep your body as healthy for the growing child inside you but I couldn’t.

To bare things I looked up online what to eat and what not and also started a homeopathic prescription but it wasn’t really working. I went to the doctors office after a few weeks because I couldn’t handle it anymore, I seriously felt like a patient in stead of a sick pregnant woman. He had to do some research and found a cure for migraines which helps for the nausea. I became some sort of drug addict, breaking the pills in four parts so I can spread them over the day; checking if I had them in my bag when going out. Even counting them to see if I could manage the weekend. The pills helped in a way that I could eat a little bit more, go to work or do groceries. But they made me tired, so I slept most of the day and the whole night as well.

This was a periode of 11 weeks of constant being sick, feeling weak and awful. You can imagine there was little joy to that point, for me being pregnant. I stopped seeing all my friends, told them I was busy or not feeling well. Everybody was so concerned about me and all I could do was lie, because I didn’t want it to come out yet. We waiting till we could do the NIPT test, which reveals if your baby is 97% chance of being healthy from certain genetical syndromes. It was and after 13 weeks we were ready to tell our family. The start of the second trimester also made me feel a lot better as the body gets in balance with hormones in this period. Telling our family was so heart warming but also liberating!

peace of mind (and body)

From this point on we could start telling our friends. I felt so good not having to lie to everyone and just meeting up. Everybody understood and was so thoughtful and sweet but mostly delighted to hear the news. After being isolated for so many weeks and being back around friends and family felt so good, that also the pregnancy became a lot more fun and something to look forward to. This is how we told our friends on social media:

van groot geheim naar delen met de wereld

Bringing the news to all close friends and family took a while! From meeting up with friends till facetime on the strangest times of day with friends in New Zealand, Spain, Equador back to Amsterdam. By now I’m 22 weeks in my pregnancy and ready to share it with my followers as well!

the bigger blog

When you’ve been following me longer you know that bigger in thebiggerblog doesn’t necessary mean my size. It means -the whole lot- and also more topics then just being fat and dressing the way I do. This means I want to share my pregancy with you but how I will do this I’m not sure yet. Fashion will always be important to me so this is not vanishing from the blog. It might be even more, why not a fashionable Curvy Mom-to-be? I will also be sharing my experience with doctor appointments, how that works out being fat and all the judgements of people. Being and keeping my body positivity is also an important topics, the weight and the advise to loose it. On instagram I share my stories and photos which don’t always end up on the blog. Or follow me on Facebook and keep being posted (because of the translate button).

Love, Josine

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